Subjection

No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
1 cor. 9.27

You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
rom. 6.18

Oswald Chambers rocks my world. his book, Utmost of His Highest, is truly one of my favorites. today passage is about fixing our eyes on the goal, and not allowing ourself to fall away. here are some lines which have struck me:
*It is not a lack of spiritual experience that leads to failure, but a lack of working to keep our eyes focused and on the right goal.
*My worth to God publicly is measured by what I really am in my private life.
those two statement are worthy of putting some thought into.

sometimes being a single 29 year old is really tough. it's easy to begin to think that i'm not 'complete' because i am not married... and i should begin seeking a spouse, (cause those who know me know i don't look for someone 'special'). and then i read some scripture about families and all their troubles. and i look to my family and see all its trouble. and i get scared. "gun shy" is a term that would apply to me. and it's not because i've been hurt by some boyfriend whom i've loved deeply. i have had some great boyfriends - and most of them i'm still good friends with. some are married, one divorced, one still single.

yesterday while at work, i had this crazy idea - this thought which again this morning has re-visited my mind. this is the thought - "in one year you will be married". so with that being said, i'm scared, and at the same time, kinda anxious to see if it will be true.... and if so, how God will place someone in my path. even as i type this, i'm nearly trembling, which is not like me at all. i don't tremble.

Jesus,
as i tremble at the thought of finding a husband, so i bend my knees to You. if this is Your will, let me follow obediently. let my subject all my independence to You and Your Lordship. my desire is to follow You faithfully - for You to be my focus and my goal. Father, let my devotion to You in my private time result in radical worship for You. let all my affections be for You. before You i lay down my fears and hesitations. i've guarded my heart with an iron scepter, and now this one thought is causing me much discord. so i seek You for reassurance and guidance. when i seek You i will find You when i seek You with my whole heart. that's the promise i'm leaning on.
in Jesus Name ~ Amen.
*denise *steven *cheryl