From My Utmost for His Highest, April 7th:
God cannot reveal anything to us if we don’t have His Spirit. And our own unyielding and headstrong opinions will effectively prevent God from revealing anything to us. But our insensible thinking will end immediately once His resurrection life has its way with us.
1 Chron. 22.12-13
May the Lord give you discretion and understanding when he puts you in command over
Amos 3.7
Surely the Sovereign Lord does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets.
1 Cor. 1.9-12
For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
lately i’ve been anxious about so many things. my heart, soul and body are filled with anxiety, worry, fear, etc. i feel as tho i can’t find solstice anywhere. i pray and pray, yet my thoughts focus back on the unrest and trouble happening all around me. i’ve heard 3 sermons about worrying – so i know that God is trying to get me to change...
so what motivates my worry/anxiety/fear? first i need to get to the bottow of what is causing so much unrest in my soul.
- today the house in flowery branch goes up for auction – april 7th. the kids are on spring break at deanna’s, and they may not have a house to return to when we take them back on sunday.
- if the house doesn’t sell for more than the loan amount plus lawyer fees, troy will be expected to pay back the difference. this means he will need to file bankruptcy, which will ruin any chance of us getting a house in the next 5 years.
- i would fight for michael and alex to come and live with us, but troy doesn’t necessarily want that. in the 3 days that we’ve had them this weekend, i can already tell a difference in their attitude. i feel as though they desperately need stability and structure, in order to develop into confident and mature young men.
- the anxiety which michael and alex bring into our house causes me to feel uneasy and anxious. they both continually are chewing the skin off their fingers, biting their nails, and alex sucks his thumb and twills his hair all the time. this cause troy also to be more antsy, bites his nails and shaking his leg. these little motions reveal so much unrest in their lives. it’s bothersome for me to feel so uneasy around them. there’s not peace, rest, or confidence.
- insecurities drive me crazy. i pray for the kids and troy to overcome their insecurites, so that they can be confident and bold. for me, i have the attitude that i can accomplish anything. too often i feel they fall into the thinking that they might get hurt or something might happen to them. they live in constant fear, and i don’t know how to help with that. the bondage of fear and distrust causes them to miss out on so much happiness, thrill and life.
- michael is getting more and more bullheaded and rebellious, and alex is following in those shoes. the kids lack respect for authority, which drives me crazy. i see more and more how important it is to learn these lessons from our parents on earth so that we know how to respect our Father in heaven. if we can’t accept discipline from our earthly dad, how are we ever going to learn to yield our spirits to our heaven Dad? how will we know to obey His commands, if we don’t listen to our earthly dad’s requests? [1 john 5.3 this is love for God: to obey His commands.] how does one instill obedience, respect and honor?