Practicing the Word - Faith in Action

My people come to you, as they usually do, and sit before you to listen to your words, but they do not put them into practice. With their mouths they express devotion, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain. Indeed, to them you are nothing more than one who sings love songs with a beautiful voice and plays an instrument well, for they hear your words but do not put them into practice.
eze. 33:31-32

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
james 1:22

it's been an interesting couple of days. i've had 2 separate conversations with different people about what am i doing w/ me life. i feel as tho i'm in a holding pattern, waiting to land - marking the start of a new beginning - but the plane just won't get clearance to land. lost in limbo.

and yet at the same time i feel condemnation about not pursuing more ways to express my faith - that God is able to reliquish me from the debt that i owe. that i could attend africa university. that there is a cure for my dissatifaction. that i don't have to reside in a heart that feels nothing - dullness - numbness. i say that i trust God with my life - but then i think about my debt and my faith fails. do i honestly believe that God could ship me off to africa in the spring - without any debt? i wish i could answer yes... and i dont' have to figure out the way that He could do it. my friend, denise is always telling me that i don't have to figure everything out. it's difficult for me - really difficult. i'm a fixer - a technical person. i want to know how things work and why they do what they do. so that my current struggle.

Jesus,
i bare my soul to You. i admit my lack of faith and lay it down on Your altar. i need thee, oh i need thee - every hour i need thee. my heart is filled with ideas - with ways to accomplish getting my debt paid off. so i lay down that too - i want to trust that You can accomplish it without me knowing the way. You own more money that i can imagine and You delight in fulfilling Your people. why am i so quick to write You off - that it can't happen b/c i'm broke? oh God, i want so much to trust You. please help me overcome my unbelief. i can't live w/o You to sustain me and show me the way.
in Jesus' Name ~ Amen!

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*the professors at AU *Denise *Ed