Discipline and Punishment

Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor children put to death for their fathers; each is to die for his own sin.
deut. 24.16

And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation."
Ex. 34.6-8

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Heb. 12.11

i can't help but have interest in the battle in darfur. children soldiers, holy war, rebellion, separation from Christ. people are dying for a cause that most of can't comprehend. what are these rebels trying to prove? why are they fighting? why are they killing children and raping women? what causes a group of rebels to do these things? are they fighting for peace? I don't know exactly, but i'm saddened by the events which have taken place.

'each is to die for his own sin.' there seems to be some accountability in that statement. but what about these families near darfur who have become fatherless and widowed? i bet they feel like a piece of them have died because of this war. are they feeling disciplined - certainly it doesn't seem pleasant, but painful. i can only imagine the depth of their pain. it breaks my heart to think of how terribly they feel - to live in those conditions. but then this new testament verse goes on to say, 'later on it produces a harvest of righteouness and peace for those who have been trained by it.' this isn't for those who harbor the bitterness and revenge, but for those who have been trained by grace and forgiveness. those who know that God is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands and forgiving wickedness. just think about how difficult it would be to forgive the rebels how raped you and your daughters, killed your husband and forced your sons to become slave-militants. is there such a forgiveness? does it exist? who's bold enough to preach this type of God? who is taking the good news to those who need it most? he who has been forgiven much, loves much. that's Jesus' lesson. ask the woman caught in adultery. ask paul. if someone were to ask me what has been forgiven in my life and how has it affected who i am, what would i answer? how am i being trained to produce a harvest of righteousness and peace? how abundant is my harvest - is it a bumper crop? what proof is there that i am being trained?

gracious God,
i trust that You are disciplining me from my flesh. continue to separate/divide me from who i was. there is a change in my life that i can't explain. i'm learning who i am, as oppose to who i was before i surrendered my life to You. have You way in me. Holy Spirit, i lay down my will and offer it to You; be glorified in me. let this year produce a bumper crop - only thru You am i capable of remaining faithful and able to produce anything good. let Your peace dwell in me that it may overflow and produce praise and good fruit.
in Jesus' Name ~ Amen
*Amanda *Melissa *Laura

Unfolding Grace

Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
jonah 2.8

The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
rom. 5:20-21

play song. it's called 'unfolding grace' by lili haydn. looks like she's into new age theology which i don't agree with (just to clarify), but the chorus to this particular song makes me think deeply about what grace is and how it affects me every moment of every day. these are some lyrics:
pouring down like the hands of a weeping willow tree....
are we unfolding grace with every breath that we take? are we unfolding grace with every step that we take? if we are not unfolding grace, what are we doing?
there is truth to be found in those simple words. (if anyone can find all the lyrics to this song, please shoot me an email or post them as a comment.)

i can tell this post is gonna be: 'tanya: wide open". perhaps i should change the title.... (already looking forward to the comments which will follow.)

so i freely admit that i struggle with the thin line between being legalistic and being spirited. (not sure that's the exact way to word it, but i'm going with it for now.) last week during youth group, i saw a kid (i say "kid", but what i really mean, is young man) getting a skateboard out of his vehicle. and knowing church policy, which states there shall be no skateboarding on church ground due to insurance issues (all that technicality stuff; blah, blah, blah), i went outside to say something. but there was already another youth leader outside. and since there were other kids out there riding their skateboards, i didn't really feel right about saying something to them (meaning the youth), since the other leader was allowing this to take place. (i'm normally the one who tells the youth to put their skateboards away - every week.) so i told the youth minister (the one in charge :-) <-just for you denise!) that i was having this crisis/dilemma about wanting to uphold the policy, while other adult leaders don't seem to care.

for me it's a spiritual issue. it's not necessarily about the kids breaking the rules or the adults not upholding the rules. it's about my role as a leader and my commitment to do what i'm expected to do. (i feel honored to be on church council, to be a volunteer youth leader, to be a member of JUMC - all of which i take seriously.) these verses are my reason for why i do what i do:
[Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 1 peter 2:13-14]

[Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. romans 13:1-3

[Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you. hebrews 13.17]

cue: psycho-Christian babble [thanks, kimberly, for dubbing those words for me. i really appreciate it! wink wink]

so with all that being said, when i entered one of the youth rooms last night, and saw 'tanya is a skater hater' written on a wall, a great many thoughts came rushing into my mind. (as you can tell from the length of this post!)

then i said something to one of the senoir high girls who we've not seen in a few weeks. it was along the same lines - about trying to get her to do what was asked of her when she didn't want to. (the grammar in that last sentence was terrible, but try to keep up.) pretty typical, i'm-too-cool-to-be-here syndrome. then i noticed one of the middle school boys had a golf tee in his mouth, which i told him to remove. then a young man was drawing on the wall with a marker, which i told him to stop. it seemed like one thing after another. then i got home and read a few pages from 'Out of the Saltshaker' by rebecca manley pippert. my mom sent that book to me for my birthday. with my mom, one never knows what type of books they will be. but so far this one is pretty decent. the part i read about was dropping our guard and getting to know people. don't assume they know you or you know them. expect God to move in them - that's it. and often that means being real about our faults and weaknesses. it also spoke of what they think is their reality, and what we think is our reality.

kinda like the skateboard issue. for me, i'm trying to do what i think is right. they see that as being a skater hater. i see it as a teenage girl who isn't doing what is asked of her. she sees me as an adult who doesn't understand her or cares for her. i see a young man vandalizing church property. i don't know what he sees me as.

oh, i forgot something. after reading about how to get out of a salt shaker, i pulled out an old journal from about 8 years ago. (the question was asked during 7.22 last week, 'how have you changed in the last 10 years?') my first entry was a list of questions. many of the question made me realize that i still don't know the answers. like, 'what satisfies?' or, 'who's opinion matters to me?' these are the question of a young person, trying to learn who they are. i bet the same questions are asked by the teenages in the youth group. and somehow God still answers. i marvel at this.

being a martha in a mary world? or being mary in a martha world? which do i fall under? am i connecting with Christ? -that is the question of my heart. (that wasn't one of the questions written in my journal 8 years ago, but i guarantee that was the deep answer and question at the time. i'm still seeking.

Mind-opener. that is how i would describe You today, Jesus. You are delving into my heart. this is unfolding grace in my life. i trust these question and thoughts are coming from You. i trust that tho i fall, You'll be with me. perhaps you didn't realize who asked the question yesterday during shottie and my walk. it was her saying, 'give me something to think about, a question or thought or scripture'. that wasn't me. but i guess You had another thing in mind. perhaps it was me asking for something to think about. and You answered the unspoken prayer. in piggly wiggly yesterday - the gift bag, You again reminded me that You'll lead me in the way i should go, You'll watch over me and direct me. that was You on the bag. that was You during the hike, saying 'follow me, I'll show You the waterfall.' You are the giver of clean, refreshing water. You are the one who takes the rough edges off the hard rocks. You are the one who breathes life into legalism. You are the one who is teaching me to be softer, get to know those to whom i give instruction, not to lord my authority over others. You are the one who give grace to the sinner and binds up the broken hearted. that's You. my heart rejoices as it is filled with this new mystery. You've changed me in 10 years - from someone who justified her drinking to someone who justifies upholding the law. good thing You aren't through with me yet.
thru Jesus my Savior ~ Amen
3 unspokens

Women: Support and Power

After this, Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him, and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out; Joanna the wife of Cuza, the manager of Herod's household; Susanna; and many others. These women were helping to support them out of their own means.
Luke 8.1-3

When Esther's words were reported to Mordecai, he sent back this answer: "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"
Esther 4.12-14

Habari za asubuhi.(good morning.) slowly but surely some swahili words and phrases are sinking into my thinking. (i absolutely love it!) it's like waking in the early morning, going outside and breathing in a huge breath of cool, refreshing, clean air. like the rush you get after stretching first thing after climbing out of bed. like opening your eyes to see someone who you've not seen in a long time. like hearing the voice of a friend from your past. like experiencing your first kiss. like discovering you didn't wet yourself during your first rollercoaster ride. like the first time you rode your bike without help. like trusting your dad to catch you when you jump into his arms. like someone pushing you higher and higher as you swing. it feels kinda like that.

so these ladies are following Jesus because He has done something great for them. so why do they continue to follow Him? what draws these ladies to this man? we know a couple things: mary was cured of demons, and joanna was married and had money. but that's not it. we also know that these ladies helped support Jesus and the disciples out of their own means. that the catch. they used their money and resources to support Jesus and his friends. that amazes me, especially joanna. i wonder what her husband thought? i can only imagine how joanna and her husband discussed what she was doing with her time and their money. i'm reminded that people want to give their time and resources to support people and organizations which offer something in return. Jesus had/has a way of moving people to give. i'm relying on that realization as i think of the next year ahead.

let's not forget the famous queen ester. mordecai and the jews were in dire need of a miracle. long story short: some unbelieving official decreed that all jews should dies, and esther was the last ray of hope to overturn to ruling. she was afraid to approach the king with this major request, so mordecai had to send her an 'encouragement' note. the note: you and your family will die if you don't do something. so she rallied the prayer warriors, fasted, and presented her request before the king. he granted her request, allowing the Jews to exist. so i question, what am i to do? what challenges lie ahead, and what type of risk will be involved? who will i need to request help from? who can i call on for prayer support? who will rise up and present a 'encouragement note' to me? am i willing to die if the King doesn't answer my request?

not sure why these two stories keep rolling thru my mind or how they are connected, but they do.

Aba, Baba, mambo yote yawezekana kwako. Tafadhali niondolee kikombe hiki cha mateso. Lakini si kama nitakavyo mimi, bali mapenzi yako yatimizwe. (Marko 14.36) i surrender to You. i will live my life as a child in awe of You.
in Jesus Name ~ Amen
*Cheryl *Earl *Denise